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Ways of Coping: Creatively Expressing Grief

By Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS, FAAETS, reprinted with permission

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Perhaps one of the best known creative expression of grief is the AIDS Quilt. The quilt started as a memorial with each panel commemorating the life of someone who has died of AIDS. The AIDS Quilt has also helped the public visually appreciate the devastating impact of the disease through the displays of the quilted panels, now too large to display in one single location.

Memorials using a variety of media are other ways of remembering. Many of the memorials in Washington DC—Arlington National Cemetery, The Vietnam Veterans Memorial (Including The Wall, The Vietnam Women's Memorial and Three Servicemen Statue), Women in Military Service for America Memorial, The Korean War Memorial or the Eternal Flame marking President Kennedy's grave site—are beautiful, moving tributes to our fallen soldiers. The Albert Memorial, the Pyramids of Egypt, the Taj Mahal and the Memorial at Althrop for Princess Diana stand in tribute to loved ones lost. The Oklahoma City National Memorial was built to honor the victims, survivors, rescuers, and all who were changed forever after the Bombing. We have seen the use of music, video and the unifying red, white & blue ribbons used to remember the victims and the missing of September 11, 2001. Who knows what types of creative expression will be used to aid in the healing process from this tragedy.

One of the more difficult losses faced is the loss of a child. People have turned to many creative endeavors to help cope with this special type of loss. Each year in December, the Compassionate Friends holds a Worldwide Candle Lighting in memory of the lives of children lost. As candles burn down in one time zone, they are lighted in the next, creating a 24-hour wave of light that encircles the globe in a worldwide remembrance.

Jan and Jules Broom after losing their daughter, Shannon in a car accident discovered her gratitude journal. Using Shannon's artwork and thoughts they created bookmarks, Shannon's Gift of Hope or "Angel Whispers." The bookmarks are given away as part of their "Bookmark Therapy" to help them face difficult times.

In "The Christmas Box" a woman mourns the loss of her child at the base of an angel monument. In response to grieving patents seeking out the angel as a place to heal their own grief, the author Richard Paul Evans commissioned an angel sculpture. To date more than 20 "Christmas Box Angels" have been dedicate around the United States.

Loss can be an meaningful instrument for change, activating a strength many do not know they possess. In tragic situations and those where the death may be viewed as preventable, many people find that investing their energies to create change or form advocacy organizations can be a positive way of channeling the intense energy experienced in grief. There are numerous examples of various organizations and causes that had their origins as a response to a tragedy, a personal loss, or a death. Several of the most notable include: Parents of Murdered Children, MADD, the Polly Klaas Foundation for missing and abducted Children, the Million Mom March, America's Most Wanted, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, Gilda's Club (For those living with Cancer), Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation, Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research, Montel Williams MS Foundation (Multiple Sclerosis) and Oprah's Angel Network (Originated after the death of Princess Diana).

Crafters Express Grief

Crafters of all types have found ways of putting their hands to work by working on a variety of projects. Participating in these types of projects can also help with the grief process giving idle hands something to do. "Afghans for Angels" is a volunteer organization that makes and distributes baby blankets at local hospitals to be given to parents who have suffered the loss of their infant through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death to use when holding their infants for the brief time when "hellos" and "good-byes" are said. The parents then keep the afghans as a token of remembrance of their baby. Project Linus "blanketeers", create new, handmade, washable blankets-quilts, tied comforters, fleece blankets, crocheted or knitted afghans, and receiving blankets-to be given as gifts to seriously ill and traumatized children around the world to "in need of a big hug." Snuggles Project is from Hugs for Homeless Animals. "Snuggles" are security blankets which can be sewn, knit or crochet for use by animal shelters for the homeless, abandoned animals. The Snuggles project provides each animal with a Snuggle to cuddle up with to feel warmth and comfort allowing the animals a little reprieve from the cold pens. The blankets also give physical comfort and psychological comfort for the animals and the people around the world who make them for the animals.

Ways of Coping: Creatively Expressing Grief is continued on Page Three

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