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Does Your Spiritual Compass Point in the Direction You Want to Go?

By Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT

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Do the leaders of your religion have a sense of humor?

Gilbert Keith Chesterton is often quoted as saying that, "It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." Are you allowed, even encouraged, to poke fun at the beliefs, slogans and dogmas of a spiritual leader? This is what Sam Keen has to say on the subject:

"The absence of humor is an almost certain sign of psychological rigidity, fanaticism and impending spiritual and political tyranny."

". . . The deepest spiritual traditions have always recognized that the sacred and the profane, like wisdom and folly, walk arm in arm, and therefore true piety must be seasoned with irreverent laughter."

" . . . Mirth and merriment save us from taking ourselves too seriously and protect us from the idolatry of assuming that our churches, rituals and formulas are themselves sacred rather than symbols that point beyond themselves to the unknown God."

"During one of Paul Tillich's very abstract lectures at Harvard on the nature of God, a woman rose to ask a question: 'Dr. Tillich,' she said, 'it is well known that psychoanalysts have a exceedingly difficult time with patients who know psychoanalytic theory. Do you think God has the same problems with theologians?' Tillich replied, 'I am sure He does.' "

Are your core beliefs internally consistent?

Fundamentalist preachers claim God is love and we are created in the image of God and must love our neighbor as ourselves. Yet today some prominent evangelical Christians are anxious to promote a war in the Middle East because it will bring about Armageddon and the second coming. Attempting to appear open-minded, they refer to America as a Judeo-Christian nation or a nation built on Judeo-Christian principles. However, they don't believe Jews will go to the heaven to which they are sure they, and only others who agree with them, belong. They do not see inconsistency in demonizing Muslims and killing innocent lives in the name of a "God of love."

What kind of life do your spiritual teachers express?

We've learned a lot from recent corporate scandals. One of the things is that you would do well to know as much as possible about the financial dealings of executives at the top level of a company. Likewise, before you accept a teacher or spiritual guide (whether a pastor or rabbi or cleric associated with an established religion or someone who guides people on their spiritual paths more independently), you would do well to know whether they handle power, sex and money in a responsible way. Of course, it is true that someone can preach a great sermon, one that changes lives, and yet, himself or herself, live a lie. But how much more can be taught by those who understand the struggles, temptations and trials of ordinary mortals and share how they, themselves, have dealt with doubt and confusion.

Jack Kornfield, an excellent author, writes in A Path With Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life:

In each tradition some teachers are rascals and coyotes who trick and surprise their students; some are harsh task-masters trying to whittle down ego and pride; others teach more through honoring and encouragement, nurturing the best in a student; some teachers lecture like a professor; others can melt us open with their love and compassion. The greatest and simplest power of a teacher is the environment of their own freedom and joy.

The more open a spiritual guide is willing to be, the more likely you can discover early on whether or not you are compatible with the person or persons to whom you are entrusting your spiritual well-being. And remember, if you understand yourself, you are more likely to know whether you would do well with someone who sees himself or herself you as a "spiritual friend" or as a "spiritual teacher," whether you need to learn how to surrender or to be more skeptical, and what kind of spiritual community will support you best.

Rumi, the 13th century mystic poet, gives this warning about accepting spiritual advice (or any advice, for that matter).

A certain man caught a bird in a trap.

The bird says, "Sir, you have eaten many cows and sheep

in your life and you're still hungry. The little bit

of meat on my bones won't satisfy you either.

If you let me go, I'll give you three pieces of wisdom.

One I'll say standing on your hand. One on your roof.

And one I'll speak from the limb of that tree.

The man was interested.

He freed the bird and let it stand on his hand.

"Number one: Do not believe in absurdity,

no matter who says it."

The bird flew and lit on the man's roof. "Number two:

Do not grieve over what is past; it's over.

Never regret what has happened."

"By the way," the bird continued, "in my body there is a huge

pearl weighing a much as then copper coins.

It was meant to be an inheritance for you

and your children, but now you've lost it.

You could have owned the largest pearl in existence,

but evidently, it was not meant to be."

The man started wailing like a woman in childbirth.

The bird said, "Didn't I just say 'Don't grieve

for what's in the past' and also

'Don't believe in absurdity?' My entire body

doesn't weight as much as ten copper coins.

How could I have a pearl that heavy inside me?

The man came to his senses. "All right.

Tell me number three."

"Yes, you've made such good use of the first two!"

"Don't give advice to someone who is groggy and

falling asleep. Don't throw seeds on the sand."

Best wishes on designing a spiritual compass that will guide you on your path. May you not believe in absurd spiritual claims. May you learn not to grieve what you have or haven't done or known in the past. And may you be alert and listen carefully to what others tells you is true, so you can know whether their advice is wise or foolish.

© Copyright 2003, Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT — Page One