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Medical Misstatements

What better place to find humor when you're sick than in the medical profession itself. If we can make fun of lawyers (see Searching for Humor and Laughter), we ought to be able to make fun of doctors as well. Incidentally, the cartoon on the right comes to us courtesy of CartoonResource. In case you can't read the print, it says, "These drugs will effect your short term memory, so you better pay me now."

The quotes below are supposed to be actual statementsS found on patient's charts during a review of medical records and were written by various health care professionals including, we're told, a doctor or two at several major hospitals. We hope your doctor wasn't one of them.

To be fair, however, when doctors (especially those who intern) work long hours, it's not surprising that they make the same kinds of mistakes the rest of us do. Since our errors aren't usually broadcast to the Internet community, we can usually keep our errors better hidden from public view.

"The lab test indicated abnormal lover function."

"The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately."

"Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized."

"The skin was moist and dry."

"The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

"She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce."

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."