Home > Coping in Today's World Tips to Combat Trauma By Belleruth Naparstek, reprinted with permission Here at Learning Place Online, Belleruth Naparstek is one of our favorite people. Her imagery tapes and other materials have proven invaluable to many. Check out her website, HealthJourneys, to learn more. Please Note: Although this article was a result of the effects of the events of September 11, with the geopolitical uncertainties ahead, its information is still valid and timely. I have noticed that I've been hanging out and laughing with my friends much more than usual. Over the past 15 years, for better or worse, l've been so busy that most of the time, I've reserved enjoying the company of my pals for later—kind of like dessert. Family and work come first, and those two items can be pretty consuming. Of course, if a friend is in trouble and really needs me, that's different. But I'm definitely not the kind of buddy you call in the middle of the day to just schmooze, chew the fat and pass the time. I get impatient and irritated, thinking I'm dissipating energy on feckless blather that leaves insufficient time for improving the human condition! (I'm making fun of this but it's true.) I'm grateful that my friends put up with this egregious lack of flexibility on my part. They're actually pretty nice about it. But these days, I've discovered that schmooze time and laughing with pals is feeling more like a necessity—something I actively seek out and arrange to have as part of my working day.... more like an essential protein, and less like dessert. I'm sure it has to do with all this terrorism business encroaching on my world. Suddenly I need the comfort of friends, laughter, closeness, mutual trust and fine, old-fashioned girlie bonding foolishness. I crave silliness and belly laughter to counter the isolation and fear that are lurking just below awareness. I've also been noticing that people are becoming more stressed out now than they were before. Maybe the reality has set in. We know this stuff isn't going away. We need to learn how to live well while being scared. This is a skill we haven't had to master yet, here in North America. So I started thinking about all the little adaptive things I've been finding myself doing—the small, ad hoc coping mechanisms that help..... And what definitely doesn't. I'm also seeing what my friends and neighbors have been up to. I'm listing some of these below. If you've got some good ones to add, please email them to me, or post them on the "Talk Amongst Yourselves" page. I think we need to focus on the proactive things we can do to make life savory and joyful, while putting up with all this garbage. So here goes. I limit watching TV news. It has very little that's actually new, and the repetition of scary possibilities and time-filling conjecture actually promotes hopelessness and hysteria. I'm always astonished at how much better my mood is when I've been away from the tube for a decent chunk of time. I give myself more than usual contact with people I love—family and friends—to see how they're doing, talk about things, and I use the connection as a touchstone to ground me back into what is both normal and precious. I'm exercizing more frequently—5-6 times a week, up from the usual 3-4. It dissipates anxiety and lifts mood. Remember fight or flight? We need to simulate flight with a little aerobic activity—it dissipates adrenalin, just like it's supposed to, and invites those juicy seratonin cocktail mixes to infuse the bloodstream. I very consciously cultivate and exercise my sense of humor, and do what I can to wring a smile out of those I converse with as well. This is tremendously healing, maybe the best of the list. In an inspired move one day last week, NPR decided to dispense with the news and instead played a half hour of the "Capitol Steps" doing their musical satire about the news. It was wonderful to laugh out loud in my car at these clever skits, and I was grateful for the jolt of sanity and well- being I got from our fabulous, zany, irreverent, totally demented, uniquely American sense of humor. I avoid prolonged "Ain't it awful" conversations. Just as with certain kinds of support groups, where everyone ends up kvetching and groaning for too long, this is disempowering and only makes me feel worse, not better. This is not denial. I know perfectly well what's going on. I just don't want to focus on it to the point of desultory, feckless paralysis. I like reading history and poetry for perspective on the big picture and the long view—we don't know everything that's coming, but we do know what we've survived and transcended. We will survive and transcend this too... and maybe even come out better, saner and more caring as a result. I'm doing more small, nice things for strangers. It feels good. —© Belleruth Naparstek, 2001, reprinted with permission Psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek, LISW, BCD, is a nationally recognized innovator in the field of guided imagery, healing and intuition. Creator of Time Warner's best-selling, 50 plus-title Health Journeys guided imagery audio series, which has sold over a million copies worldwide, she is a warm, dynamic and compelling speaker. Naparstek has lectured throughout the country and the world, training thousands of health professionals, corporate leaders, counselors, performing artists and health consumers in guided imagery techniques. Belleruth received both undergraduate and graduate degrees from the University of Chicago, receiving a master's degree in clinical social work in 1967. For years she taught graduate students at Case Western Reserve University.