Gestures of Love and Friendship

Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski are a talented husband-and-wife therapist team who knows from personal and professional experience that many seemingly "minor" things we do and say for another person can make a major difference in their lives and in the world at large. When they offered their weekly e-newsletter, they had a section called "Loving Endearments" that we include, together with other suggestions, in this section that we call "Gestures of Love and Friendship."

This is what they wrote about this topic on March 29, 2002, (reprinted with permission).

"Large, grand gestures are wonderful when you can make them happen. But real, long-lasting, day-to-day love is made up of countless little things. They are the brick and mortar of what two people build together. The grand gestures are like chandeliers, or swimming pools, or expensive silverware and china. They bring elegance and refinement and their own kind of beauty, a beauty that's hard to miss, but how often will you bring out the fine china, or keep the chandelier lit? And how often will you eat off your regular, daily plates and use the table lamp to give you the light you need?

We emphasize the small things because they are available everyday.

When we drive together, whether we're on a short or long trip, one of us will reach out and simply take the other's hand. Often we don't say anything about it. We just do it. It's a small moment that affirms and confirms our love for one another . . . and . . . all it takes is the realization of how important such a gesture can be and the willingness to follow through when the impulse arises.

Keep in mind the small endearments. They are the foundation."

We encourage you to add your ideas on how anyone, a lover, friend, or family member, can strengthen a relationship, deepen the commitment he or she has with another, and make a difference in the world—without spending a fortune in time and money.