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Activities Chapter 4: The Wise Part Within

By Eva D. Fugitt

From He Hit Be Back First!: Development of the Will in Children for Making Choices,* Revised Edition, printed by Jalmar Press, (800) 662-9662, blwjalmar@att.net, reprinted with permission.

[* NOTE: By clicking on the title and buying this book from Amazon.com, you help support LPO.]

AREA: Self-esteem, self-awareness, self-correction, act of will, choice, Transpersonal Self.

COMMENT: This is a technique designed to help the child get in touch with the part within him that is always in perfect harmony with life. The recognition of self as used in psychosynthesis, i.e., recognition of the "wise part" or unifying center of the self, is developed so that the child will have a tool or guide to help the process of making the best possible choice he is capable of making. It is through this awareness of self that self-esteem and sense of inner authority come. The basic purpose of psychosynthesis is to release or help release the energies of the Self.

MEDIA: Class discussion.

PROCEDURE: To introduce the concept of the Wise Part Within simply say something to the following effect:

"There is a wise part within all of us. There is a wise part within you. A wise part within me. A wise part deep within everyone you know. The wise part in you is so wise that it knows what is right for you far more than I. It is so wise it even knows what is right for me and what is right for the group.

"One of the ways to get in touch with that wise part within is to sit quietly, take several deep breaths, so silently that you can hear the sounds in the next room. Breathe slowly, at your own rhythm. As you experience your body becoming quiet, you may wish to visualize in that creative place in your mind a lovely flower or a white fluffy cloud in a blue sky. You may visualize a diamond or a star above your head. Experience the silence. In that silence you may ask the wise part within for the help you need."

OBSERVATION: Assagioli calls it the Transpersonal Self. Jung calls it the Higher Self. James calls it the Deep Center. In an attempt to simplify a highly complex concept, to put it in the language of children, I call it the Wise Part Within. The children seem to intuitively know what is meant by these words and respond dramatically to them. I have often been asked by teachers, "What do parents say?" My response has been that I've never had a parent deny that his child has a wise part within him. All parents want assurance that there is a Wise Part Within their child. I shared this concept and how I use it with the parents of my children. I led them in an exercise of getting in touch with the wise part deep within themselves. They responded, as did the children, with instant, intuitive recognition and acceptance of the concept, giving full support to teaching it to their children. One mother said with a deep sigh, "I wish to God that someone had taught me that when I was a child."

Juan

A high school science teacher learned this concept and technique in one of my workshops. She reported almost with awe the results of using it with a student "whose main purpose in life seemed to be to see how much disturbance he could create in the classroom." She, a tiny woman, said this huge high school senior was towering over her, being his usual disturbing self, when she inwardly gulped and decided to try it. She said, "You know, Juan, there is a very wise part deep within you. That wise part knows what is right for you. It knows better than I or anyone else what is right for you. Will you take a quiet breath and contact that wise part? You don't have to give me an answer." (Honor the student's privacy. The resulting behavior will give you the answer.) He stopped, stared at her, stood silent for a moment, turned and walked to a seat in the back of the room. He slumped down, remaining in silence for the rest of the period. She reported that was great progress for him. Something had been touched, been identified, been honored with the dignity of choice.

Angela

One morning I heard myself angrily using my most authoritarian voice with Angela, a fifth grader. Angela had returned from a week's absence due to illness. When a child is out for a period of time it always takes a while to re-establish the "pecking order." She had been quite restless, disturbing her teammates and the rest of the class. There was a lot of restless energy in the class that morning, including mine. I told Angela, using the strong, no-nonsense voice teachers and parents are so capable of using, to step out in the hall until I could speak with her. Angela, an attractive little girl from Guatemala, stomped out of the room, muttering and posturing-"Sooo!" In the hall I launched into the usual authoritarian pitch of how this behavior can't continue, etc. I heard myself saying, "If this continues, Angela, I'll have to call your father." I also heard Angela angrily yelling back, "So, call my father!"

We were both caught in the tit-for-tat game of survival of the egos or making each other losers. As we stood with arms crossed on chest, glaring and making demands on each other, I heard another part of me thinking, "What am I doing? I don't want to call her father! I don't want to take her to the office! I don't want to fill out triplicate forms!" As these thoughts entered my consciousness, I was able to say, "Oh, Angela, I don't like hearing what we are saying to each other. Maybe we had better take a deep breath and get in touch with the wise part within us." She stopped and stared at me. I quietly took a deep breath and briefly closed my eyes. Angela did the same. As we silently looked at each other, I smiled and she burst into tears, threw her arms around me and cried, "Oh, Mrs. Fugitt!" My arms went around her and we experienced the healing of reconciliation. A common understanding of a basic concept in right relations, a common vocabulary, a point of choice, an act of will, a bonding of student-teacher relationship. An opportunity to stop, self-correct in the middle of the process is much more effective than those triplicate forms!

Brett

Brett angrily knocked papers and books off his desk and stomped out of the room. I followed him. I asked him where he was going. Chin thrust in air, arms folded on chest, he defiantly replied, "Call my mother! She said I don't have to do nothin' you said!" Brett's mother was full of hostility and vented it quite regularly on the teachers and school system in general.

This was a day on which I happened to be centered. I took a few quiet, deep breaths (a highly effective tool in times of behavioral crises) and thought, "How do I help him? What can I say that will reach him?" As I quietly looked at him, the image of Brett a few days ago with his Bible came to mind. He had brought his Bible to school and eagerly shared that he was learning "memory verses" and would get an award at Sunday School. I do not encourage teachers to "preach" or "moralize" to children. However, at that moment, responding to the image, I purposefully chose to speak in a language he could understand. I asked Brett if he remembered when he brought his Bible to school a few days ago. He stared angrily at me. I asked him what the memory verses taught him about how to behave and if they had anything to do with "good behavior" at school.

Brett stared at me. His rich brown skin turned ashen. An awareness, a connection was taking place deep within him-a connection of Sunday School teachings with his school behavior. It was so strong that he simply stared, turned, walked back to the room, picked up the spilled materials and began working-all in silence.

When awareness is present, correction can take place.

Tacelia

We had been discussing feelings and how hard it was sometimes to do things, especially when it was something new. The children were familiar with the term Higher Self. Tacelia said, "Well, all you have to do is get in touch with your Upper Self and then do it!"

Dr. Albert Schweitzer states, "We are at our best when we give the doctor who resides within each patient a chance to go to work." To paraphrase this for parents and teachers I would say we are at our best when we give the teacher who resides within each child a chance to go to work.

CAUTION: As with all of the exercises, this can be used inappropriately.

A fifth grade teacher phoned me one day in distress. She was an avid supporter of these methods and was totally committed to her children. She taught in the poorest, toughest part of the inner city ghetto, experiencing all the problems and challenges that come with the territory.

While listening to her story, I noticed some concerns she had about the concept of the Wise Part Within. It wasn't working for her. I discovered that she would scream at the child in a high, strident voice, "Go sit down and get in touch with your wise part!"

It will not work if you are coming from a subpersonality. (See section on subpersonalities.) Remember, energy follows thought. You must be coming from your own "wise part" or "quiet center" first, modeling the process. Take a few moments of "public solitude" and align yourself.

— © Copyright 2001, Eva D. Fugitt