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Learning From Wise Ben Franklin

By Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT

Becoming "the best you can be" might feel like an overwhelming chore if you've set goals to change something in every category of your life -- physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually -- and also take an active role in solving problems in your community.

To help you maintain balance in the face of such a challenge, I suggest you follow the example of an early American elder statesman in what might be called the Ben Franklin Method.

It seems that early in our country's history, when Ben Franklin was a young man, that a Quaker came to him one day and said something to the effect that, "Ben, I know thou hast good ideas, but by thy arrogant attitude thou wilt not make friends nor influence thine enemies." Now Ben, being the wise person he was, realized that if he were to become a statesman, he needed to change. Further, he realized that in addition to his attitude of superiority, there were several other things about himself that could stand revision and so made a list of all of them (there were nine if my version of the story is correct).

Knowing that changing everything at once was not possible, he set about changing these nine things one at a time over the course of nine weeks. During each week he would concentrate on just one of the items on his list. On the tenth week he would once again focus on the first trait he wanted to develop. Before long this early patriot and inventor was making many friends and influencing many people.

You can use the Ben Franklin method in many different ways. For example, if you want to use it for the purpose of expanding your repertoire of qualities (see The Important Role Qualities Can Play in Your Life), I suggest you choose a quality for at least a week and preferably for a whole month. Notice what activities will be coming up during that time and then decide which quality or qualities would best help you get through them with ease and success. By focusing on only one or two specific qualities, you'll soon express them without having to think about them. They will become part of your second nature, just as old Ben became known for the excellent characteristics he developed through his systematic approach to change. (See Developing Qualities Over a Period of Time to see how I've applied this system in my own life.)

Please let me know how this approach has helped you.

© Copyright 2002, Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT